Listen to your Heart
by Padme Nijiri
Summary: One rainy evening, Hitomi comes home from school to an empty apartment. She contemplates her memories and life as she listens to the radio.


So this is my first Esca fic, not my first fic though. I'd been listening to DHT's "Listen to your Heart" and knew I wanted to do a song fic to it, just didn't know what anime/story to use. And then I started reading Esca fics again, and thought it would make a good fic.

"Listen to your Heart" by Padme Nijiri

Hitomi trudged up the stairs to her third story apartment, careful not to slip in the light rain. Shifting her book bag to her left side, she zipped open a wet pocket and searched through the pencils, pens, erasers, high lighters, and other miscellaneous school items before her fingers met metal and the clanking of keys was heard in the empty corridor. Water dripped from an overhang down past Hitomi's head, reminding her of a tear.

She shoved the keys in the lock and turned it, the door didn't budge, stuck as it was on the sill. She turned, and angled her hip into the barrier, forcing it open. Gingerly, the dirty blonde robbed the sore spot through her jeans. "I'm home!" She called out, walking into the tiny, two bedroom apartment. Her college roommate wasn't back from class yet apparently.

Shrugging the wet bag off he shoulders, Hitomi slipped her feet from her shoes and set them in front of the fireplace before going to turn on the heat. She stopped in front of an entertainment center complete with a flat screen TV and high-tech DVD player her parents had sent her from Japan, so many miles away. Hitomi had worked hard after her trip to Gaia and had perfected her English speaking skills, so much so that the Japanese government offered her a chance to study Business at one of the top American Universities. That had been nearly three years ago.

Hitomi pressed the power button on the radio. The DJ's voice faded away as haunting strands of music began to fill the living room. Hitomi sighed, knowing the song, and allowed the memories to engulf her.

_I know there's something in the wake of your smile.  
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.  
You've built a love but that love falls apart.  
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark. _

The memories were still so strong after nearly six years! No one had understood why she had suddenly stopped reading Tarrot, or where her grandmother's pendant was. Hikari, dimly recalled Van, but thought he was just a dream. A dream Hitomi should have forgotten so she could go on with her life. Hikari said she needed someone like her own Amano to cheer Hitomi up. The blonde laughed at the red head and had agreed, if only half-heartedly. Glancing at the mantle, Hitomi saw the wedding photo of Hikari and Amano as well as the picture of their newborn son, Amano Jr.

"Will I ever have someone like that?" She let the words fall from her glossed lips.

_Listen to your heart  
when he's calling for you.  
Listen to your heart  
there's nothing else you can do.  
I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why,  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye. _

She stood next to the huge bay window that overlooked the Marina and the ocean. High in the sky, the full moon bathed her in pure light, free from the haze that surrounded it in the clearing sky. The rain had stopped, and it was one of those rare moments when Hitomi allowed herself free time to think of him. She couldn't even think his name without her breath catching, or recalling his scent of the fields._  
_

The song continued to play, and Hitomi felt a vision of what could have been pass through her mind. She was on Gaia, with him, with Van. His raven hair was a little neater, but not much. He still wore his red shirt and beige pants. One gloved hand rested on his sword, as he laughed at her. She was sitting in a meadow full of flowers that unfortunately made her sneeze despite their beauty. Van never could understand her allergies. In her distant vision she could see a pair of horses grazing by the trees. And within her, she though, maybe she felt the stirings of a child.

_Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.  
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.  
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,  
the feeling of belonging to your dreams. _

Shaking her head away from the vision, Hitomi closed her eyes, allowed a tear to slip out as the full force of her emotions engulfed her. She breathed in deeply again before steeling herself and reminding herself that midterms were coming up and she had to do well if she wanted to stay in America.

_Listen to your heart  
when he's calling for you.  
Listen to your heart  
there's nothing else you can do.  
I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why,  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye. _

America. She laughed inwardly at the thought. It was worlds away from Japan and her family continued to survive with her here. She thought that things at home would slow down and stop when she left for school, and while she knew her mother missed her, she was surviving as was Hitomi.

Hitomi remember coming to America, people being shocked at her almost accent less speech when she told them she was from Japan. "But you're blonde!" They told her. And she replied, "Japan has immigrants too." They laughed, and congratulated her on her English. She always did have a way with languages. In her brief time at school she had also learned a great deal of Spanish even though she was not as proficient at it as she was English, but it was a little easier to pick up.

Just as Hitomi turned from the window, something on the balcony caught her attention. She pushed the annoying sliding glass door open, and wrestled with the screen door to reach the itme before it blew away. She stumbled outside, and as if fate were mocking her, the wind gusted and blew the feather from it's spot. Crying out, Hitomi leaned after the floating item and coaxed it into her hand with her mind. _  
_  
_And there are voices  
that want to be heard.  
So much to mention  
but you can't find the words.  
The scent of magic,  
the beauty that's been  
when love was wilder than the wind._

It was large and white, too large to be a normal bird feather and too white to be from the polluted and smog-filled city. "Van?" She whispered. An echo of his voice filled her mind. She breathed in deeply and smelt his scent. She closed her eyes and could almost feel his arms around her, as when he had come back for her. She wondered briefly, what would have happened had she stayed on Gaia, and knew that with how young they were, whatever connection probably would have been worn thin despite their love for each other. _  
_  
_Listen to your heart  
when he's calling for you.  
Listen to your heart  
there's nothing else you can do.  
I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why,  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye. _

Hitomi tried vainly to banish him from her mind so she could study the pages before her, but still she clutched the feather in her hand and smelled the grass in her mind. Standing up suddenly, she knocked the chair over and threw the book at the wall with a motion of her hands and her mind. They had been wrong about her powers going away when she returned, or her visions stopping. They still came, and her powers still grew. She knew her roommate was with her boyfriend, and she cared not to think of what they were doing. She knew her brother was taking a morning run, and that her mother was just waking up to make breakfast.

Yet, she didn't what Van was doing. Even though she could feel what other people she was close with, she couldn't feel him, with whom she felt closest. It was as if the pendant had been a channel through which she received her power, and without it, her powers fell down upon her and filled her.

_Listen to your heart, mm-mmmmmm_

And then suddenly, at the edge of her mind something tingled. She turned toward the door of her room, a smile spread on her face. The door bell rang as Hitomi sprinted to the door. Throwing caution to the wind she quickly undid the dead bolt and threw open the door so it hit the wall. Plaster crumbled to the carpet. There stood a stranger in a beige trench coat and hat that hid his face in shadow. Hitomi felt her smile fade at seeing the tall man. Van was her height.

_I don't know where you're going  
and I don't know why,  
but listen to your heart  
before you tell him goodbye._

The man lifted his face to the light and took off the hat. Raven hair fell forward into mahogany eyes. "Van!" Hitomi threw herself into his open arms, and felt him spin her around. "Oh, Van! I missed you." She breathed in the smell of the fields, and the fresh rain.

"Hitomi," His voice was soft, and cracked with emotion. "I missed you too."

And suddenly, Hitomi knew she couldn't bear to say goodbye to him again. Her heart was full and she knew the moon smiled down on them. As he set her down, Hitomi glanced into his emotion-filled eyes. "Van, take me home with you."

He smiled at her.

* * *

Fin. I hope you all enjoyed it. Thank you to Sapphirefly for info on the song. DHT's "Listen to you Heart" is a remake of the Roxette song of the same name.  



End file.
